I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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