I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my shit smells like andre
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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