Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
