You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
