matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
