know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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