So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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