Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
