that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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