Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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