Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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