The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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