You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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