6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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