my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
im six kinds of drunk right now
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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