hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
