she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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