He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
