I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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