Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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