I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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