he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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