I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
