In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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