Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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