Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
