what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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