At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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