Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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