Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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