thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
