im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
