Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
