So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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