pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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