Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So squirting runs in the family.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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