i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
