Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You ruined the universe
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
