Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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