just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
