Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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