Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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