Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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