I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
