dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
