This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
3pm strippers are depressing
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
