I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
