I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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