I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
