So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
