I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
