She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
