its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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