Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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