He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My pussy is not your playground.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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