You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
