i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
