She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
